Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
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