so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
