so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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