dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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