Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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