small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
