This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
