I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
