Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
