His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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