She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
