I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
And my parents said I crawled through the house
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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