how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
