Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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