Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
