So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
