I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
