yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
