I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
