like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
