wanna go halves on a baby?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
