Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Semen is not good for contacts.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
