And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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