Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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