It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
