I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
