So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Why is your signature on my underwear?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
