it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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