He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize