dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Sorry about my life...
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
