I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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