I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
