The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
