one might say we're banned from that church
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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