I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
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