He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
