I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
