my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
