I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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