marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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