I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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