Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
