Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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