i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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