Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
