Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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