Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
where does the pee come out of this thing
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
