quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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