This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
