You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
