do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
birth control should be required to get into college
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
