The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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