she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize
